he, she
version 1.2 alpha
updated 18 december 04
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This is the official "rough" draft of the novel. Version 1.0 was the novel exactly as-is after NaNo ended, version 1.1 was the novel with most of the grammatical errors fixed and some minor rewrites. This is the version that happens next. I did some more extensive rewriting of several chapters; check the version history for more details. This is the last update until February; other projects demand my attention, and you need time to read. It's a free download, but you have to tell me what you think. And be honest; I want this thing to be good eventually, so don't hold back to spare my feelings or anything dumb like that. Also, if you email me, I'll send you a quick email when a revised version is posted. Unless you don't want me to, in which case you should say so. right / control - click and select "download link to disk"
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--version 1.2 alpha--
Fifth paragraph of 34 reworked, I think for the better.
Second paragraph of 49 less awkward, though still not quite right.
Removed 90% of the awfulness from the second paragraph of 55.
Third paragraph of 57 may actually be worse now, but it's closer to
the way I want it in any case.
Third paragraph of 99 fixed slightly, though I haven't even begun to
address the massive continuity errors involving the coffee shop. Which
apparently readers thus far have yet to notice. Which means it might
not matter to anyone but me.
The first half of 111 is good enough for now.
85 and 104 now feel enough like different chapters to justify their
continued joint existence.
And the author's note has been reworked extensively. Future versions
will likely see a completely different author's note. Those worried
about losing this one should be glad to hear that it shall remain in
the official benjones archives. Visiting hours are by appointment only.
--version 1.1 alpha--
First paragraph of chapter 13 rewritten. Chapters 18, 20, & 65 massaged
a bit. Chapter 41 now includes expanded headache description. Chapters
34, 49, 55, 57, 85, 99, 104, & 111 left alone, with massive rewrites
pending.
"Japlexican" is now "the Shipment" throughout, as
in this fictional universe Japlexican plays all the time.
Sweeping upgrades in grammar, punctuation and tense, as well as the
occasional addition or subtraction of words (and in some cases entire
sentences) in the interest of clarity and general un-suck-ness.
Author's note altered ever-so-slightly.
Also, apparently the state name is, in fact, New HAMPSHIRE, and not
"New hampsire" as formerly suggested at the beginning of chapter
83. Somebody was typing drunk that night, I can assure you.
--version 1.0 alpha--
The complete text as it existed at the end of NaNoWriMo 2004, with the
addition of an author's note, copyright information, and, well, this
bit.
